The Three Best White Breakup Songs

Yes, we are going to Jim Crow this category, for a couple reasons.  As we'll see, a song by a white artist inspired this list, so I'm in a white artist kinda mood.  Besides, picking the best breakup songs by black artists is exceptionally easy.  Marvin Gaye conveniently collected them all on one record.

These songs are ranked by my love for them, and the rankings conveniently dovetails with their place on the continuum of "how far along are you in the breakup?"  The further we go down the list, the further into despair we descend.

3. "Never Talking to You Again" Husker Du: It's gotta kill Bob Mould that the best Husker song was Grant Hart and an acoustic guitar, right?  Especially since this song might be about him?  This is the song you bump when you've tried everything to fix the relationship, but it only gets worse.  You're just too exhausted to try anything else, and you just want the other person to go away as quickly as possible, but "as quickly as possible" takes years too long.

2. "Serpents" Sharon Van Etten: Admittedly, I just found this song within the last two weeks.  It hasn't passed the test of the time like the other two, but I complete confidence it will, since, like, I haven't stopped listening to it for the last 72 hours.  This song is a brilliant, confused mess.  Van Etten is alternately magnanimous and furious but always bitter and resigned.  She's trying to convince the listener that she's done with this arsehole, but you both know she's lying.  She might want to be done, but not enough lamps have been smashed yet.  You're living this song when you're smack dab in the middle of the awful breakup.  You kind of suspect things have to end, but you can't do it yet, and you are a complete and utter emotional train wreck.  Believe it or not, Van Etten and her band (especially the drummer) pack all this confusion into three minutes of mid-tempo rock perfection.

1. "Rid of Me" PJ Harvey: Ultimately, though, Van Etten can't displace her heroine, at least not at the top of my list.  With this song, words utterly fail me.  I might as well try to describe enlightenment.  Imagine Surfer Rosa without a smidge of humor, channeled through Howlin Wolf and John Lee Hooker, and taken to a very, very dark place.  Then imagine a broken heart can transform quiet, unassuming Goth girl into a malevolent force of nature.  There's simply no way to stand against "Rid of Me."  If Polly Jean wants to destroy you, she will, and I can either pray for you or organize a wake for you.  Unlike the first two songs on this list, this song contains not an ounce of resignation.  This is the sound you make three days after she tells you and it finally sinks in, if you were capable of anger that could summon the gods.

Please note: I am only referring to the album version.  "4 Track Demos" sucks.