Blocks

I want to move up, in the direction of my dreams and freedom and enlightenment and all of the good stuff.  But the day-to-day makes getting to a higher place so hard.  I can't think or write with a cold.  I can't think or write when I'm so tired.  I can't think or write with a 8 to 5 and teacher training and keeping up with the people I love and the five million other things that demand attention every day.

Part of the solution is to simplify, to do less.  I know this.  I need to clear off my plate that which does not serve me, and I am trying so hard to do so.  I think I'm at the point where I'm ready to start shedding layers, and I have full confidence that if I do so more opportunities that better serve me will appear.  I just need the courage to get started.  I need to jump, even if I can't see the landing spot, and trust that the universe will reciprocate my gesture of good faith, catch me, and lift me up.

Boy, it's hard to think on cold medicine.  Blergh.

If You Were There, You Are There Now

I brought a case of the blues back with me from vacation.  Amy Schneider's class tonight helped a great deal.  I wasn't at my best, but I made the conscious effort to not let the blues stop me but to integrate the blues into my practice.  I worked with the blues, rather than against it.  I decided to be softer and more fluid.  It felt great.

Still, in savasana, the blues planted doubts in my head.  The blues said that I'd never reach the states of awareness that I wanted to reach, or even make it back to the states of mind where I felt I was making real progress in the past.

But, see, the blues fucked up when they mentioned the past, because I know enough about theoretical physics to be dangerous.  Theoretical physics sees time as a dimension like space, which opens the door for time travel and other, more interesting ideas.  Grant Morrison introduced me to one of my favorites, which is, if we were all fifth dimensional entities that could look down on the four dimensions humans perceive, we could theoretically point to different areas in time, and we'd see that all moments in time are actually part of the same thing and could really be said to be happening at once.

So, if that's the case, every moment in my life is happening right now.  The time years ago in Florida where the universe manifested itself to me as interlocking golden light that makes up everything is happening right now.  The time in savasana where I realized that God is real is happening right now.  There's no beginning or ending to anything, which means that if I have ever had a transcendent, spiritual moment in which I glimpsed higher existence, I can have it right now, if I just open myself to it.

And since we're all one thing anyway, if I've had such moments, you can too.

Needless to say, savasana got really, really trippy after that.  And really, really good.