Penn State, Anusara, and the Group Trap

There is nothing better than being part of a group.  We crave connection with other people as much as we crave air, water, and food.  When we're lucky enough to find a group that welcomes us and gives to us and helps us become better people, we're usually willing to recognize it as one of the rarest and most precious gifts.

And at the exact instant, we're vulnerable.

Over the past four months, I've watched as two groups for which I have great affection have imploded.  I'm a lifelong Penn State fan who still believes Joe Paterno was one of the best human beings to ever walk the earth, and I've attended and grown from classes with several Anusara yoga teachers.  The details of the Penn State tragedy are well know.  If you want some background on the awful situation facing Anusara and its practitioners, click here.

(Now seems like a good time to indicate that I am NOT equating anything that happened with Anusara with the evil the victims of Jerry Sandusky experienced.  I am not ruling it out, but even the most disturbing public rumors don't indicate that any of John Friend's alleged misdoings rival Sandusky's in scope or depth of depravity.)

Beyond my interest, a lot of things link Penn State and Anusara.  Both were run by charismatic, larger-than-life figures who preached that they, and their organizations, cared about more than the primary task usually associated with their job titles.  Both preached the virtues of living an ethical life in service to others.

And both Joe Paterno and John Friend were able to inspire others to greatness.  People looking for a way to live a better life were drawn to both of them, because both of them seemed like the real deal.  Both Paterno and Friend seemed to create a world that welcomed and celebrated those who wanted nothing more than to be the best, most ethical people they could be.

And a lot of people found good in themselves that they attribute to the experiences they had in the worlds that Joe Paterno and John Friend created.  A lot of people went on to do wonderful things that benefited the world and served the good in the name of both men.

A lot of people ask why no one at Penn State came forward earlier, just like a lot of people are asking why no one associated with Anusara came forward with information about Friend's alleged wrongdoings until now.  To me, people who ask those questions have never been part of a group that becomes central to one's identity.  To go against a group like that takes exceptional moral character, particularly if an individual believes the group now in the wrong had a formative positive impact on that very moral character.  To any person close to Penn State football, turning in Jerry Sandusky was the equivalent of turning in the oldest brother of a family that had provided nothing but exceptional moral guidance up until that point.  To a senior Anusara yoga teacher, telling the world about the real John Friend must have felt like calling the cops on your father.

Let me clear: I am not excusing Joe Paterno, John Friend, or anyone who knew about the wrongs committed at Penn State or within the Anusara kula.  If your older brother (allegedly) molests little boys, you call the police.  If you know your dad is (allegedly) harassing his students and forcing his subordinates to commit crimes in his name, you call the police.  This post is already getting long, so I'll save a full discussion of culpability for tomorrow.  For now, know that I strongly believe that everyone who knows of grievous harms bares full ethical responsibility to do whatever they reasonably can to stop it.

All I'm saying is, if your heart has room, spare a little compassion for both the Penn State and Anusara families, even if they did know and did nothing.  They were wrong, and we can and should hold them fully accountable for their wrong.  But every living thing deserves our compassion, and the Penn State and Anusara mistakes, while allowing truly awful things to happen, were all too human.

It is excruciating to confront your heroes, even if you know they're wrong.

Especially when you know they're wrong.