Lessons in Humility: Yoga Teacher (In) Training

Before we left Florida this morning, Carolyn and I did yoga together.  I was sad and emotional about leaving, so I didn’t want to lead a class.  We just did whatever asanas we wanted for about 20 minutes.  Towards the end of our practice, she helped me stay up in pincha, and it felt wonderful.  Squeezing her arm between my legs allowed me to stay up longer away from the wall than I ever had before.  

Then she said she’d like to do headstand, a pose she’s worked on a bunch recently and has improved greatly.  To repay her assist, I offered to assist her.  I did a great job stabilizing her hips, but while I was admiring my handiwork and her headstand, I zoned out.  I wasn’t present.

2 seconds later, girlfriend falls on her back.  Eep.  

Pictured: NOT CAROLYN

Girlfriend is unhurt and cheerful about the whole thing, but boyfriend is a little embarrassed at the very basic lesson he apparently needed to learn.  Today’s lesson: if I am grumpy and not committed to teach, I will not teach, not even for one pose.  If I do commit to teach, then I must teach 100 percent, even if it’s “only” for one pose.  My students will count on me to be present for however long both of us have committed.  

Last weekend, I had coffee with the owner of the World’s Greatest Yoga Studio, and she advised that a yogi who teaches from a place of love, moderation, and humility will always remain in balance.  Lately I find that humility is very, very easy, because I continue to make mistakes when I teach, and those mistakes do not hesitate to manifest themselves in ways that touch other people.  All I can hope is that I learn my lessons.

The Three Best White Breakup Songs

Yes, we are going to Jim Crow this category, for a couple reasons.  As we'll see, a song by a white artist inspired this list, so I'm in a white artist kinda mood.  Besides, picking the best breakup songs by black artists is exceptionally easy.  Marvin Gaye conveniently collected them all on one record.

These songs are ranked by my love for them, and the rankings conveniently dovetails with their place on the continuum of "how far along are you in the breakup?"  The further we go down the list, the further into despair we descend.

3. "Never Talking to You Again" Husker Du: It's gotta kill Bob Mould that the best Husker song was Grant Hart and an acoustic guitar, right?  Especially since this song might be about him?  This is the song you bump when you've tried everything to fix the relationship, but it only gets worse.  You're just too exhausted to try anything else, and you just want the other person to go away as quickly as possible, but "as quickly as possible" takes years too long.

2. "Serpents" Sharon Van Etten: Admittedly, I just found this song within the last two weeks.  It hasn't passed the test of the time like the other two, but I complete confidence it will, since, like, I haven't stopped listening to it for the last 72 hours.  This song is a brilliant, confused mess.  Van Etten is alternately magnanimous and furious but always bitter and resigned.  She's trying to convince the listener that she's done with this arsehole, but you both know she's lying.  She might want to be done, but not enough lamps have been smashed yet.  You're living this song when you're smack dab in the middle of the awful breakup.  You kind of suspect things have to end, but you can't do it yet, and you are a complete and utter emotional train wreck.  Believe it or not, Van Etten and her band (especially the drummer) pack all this confusion into three minutes of mid-tempo rock perfection.

1. "Rid of Me" PJ Harvey: Ultimately, though, Van Etten can't displace her heroine, at least not at the top of my list.  With this song, words utterly fail me.  I might as well try to describe enlightenment.  Imagine Surfer Rosa without a smidge of humor, channeled through Howlin Wolf and John Lee Hooker, and taken to a very, very dark place.  Then imagine a broken heart can transform quiet, unassuming Goth girl into a malevolent force of nature.  There's simply no way to stand against "Rid of Me."  If Polly Jean wants to destroy you, she will, and I can either pray for you or organize a wake for you.  Unlike the first two songs on this list, this song contains not an ounce of resignation.  This is the sound you make three days after she tells you and it finally sinks in, if you were capable of anger that could summon the gods.

Please note: I am only referring to the album version.  "4 Track Demos" sucks.

A Valentine for You

Having done a lot of gratitude posts lately, I was a little hesitant to go forward with the following concept for Valentine's Day.  I'm also conscious of not blowing up anyone's spot.  I guess it's ok to put people's names in these blog entries, but I do want to respect the privacy of everyone, especially the people for which I am most grateful.

But then I thought again.  The world needs nothing so much as it needs joy, equanimity, compassion, and kindness.  In that spirit, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone, but especially to the following people.  I'm keeping names out of it, but I'll be as specific as I can so you know when you're getting shouted out.

The Anthem.  Get Your Damn Hands Up

• To my family, for everything ever but especially for their support over the last year.
• To my professional colleagues who have stood by me through the last year.  I learned that the upper boundary of the best behavior from caring, dedicated professionals is much higher than I had thought.
• To my friends  who have been with me from the jump.  I could not have made it through without you.
• To my friends who I just connected with over the past year.  You've made life in North Carolina richer and more fun than I thought possible.
• To everyone who has contributed to my yoga practice ever.
• To all the students I have had the pleasure of teaching.
• To the airplanes and internet providers that keep me close with all of the above.
• To the sun, the moon, the sky, the earth, and the spirit.
• To Lindsey Andrews, whose former FB profile pick I've been looking for an excuse to steal for months.  Words to live by.

11 Things For Which I'm Grateful

1) The grammatical constructions "for which," "to which," and so on.  They make me feel smart.

2) Pitchers and catchers in eight days.

3) Lavoy Allen balling out.  If they really wanna do this thing, the Sixers need toughness and physical play.  Lavoy isn't enough, but he's been a pleasant surprise.  He battles his man on defense on every position, he rebounds, he hustles, and he makes open jumpers.

4) Recently, the Alliance for Student Activites, an organization dedicated to the promotion of the value of student activities for middle school and high school students, launched its "When X=Student Activities" campaign.  This presentation and its accompanying parts are a grassroots effort that will change the public education debate in this country, and I am proud to be a part of this effort.  Please click on the link above and "like" us.

5) The opportunity to work with Bob Tryanski on #4

6) "Postcards from Hell" by The Wood Brothers

7) The staff of the PASC Grove City Gold Workshop

8) David Uzumeri says that Frank Quitely is almost done with his issue of Grant Morrison's Multiversity, which may come out this summer.

9) A semester of leave, which allowed me to submit on Sunday the best article manuscript I have ever written and researched.

10) "This too shall pass, so raise your glass to change and chance.
And freedom is the only law.
Shall we dance?"

11) New opportunities

No Kinds of Love Are Better Than Others

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(That sounds dickish.  I'm actually being sincere.  Stupid postmodern irony complex making it hard to communicate sincerely.)

So when Allison said she was sad about the situation in our first blog post, we felt the need to clarify.

We were sad that we didn't have the opportunity to follow up with this particular young lady, but we were probably more happy that we got to meet her than anything else.

First off, when someone is attracted to you, that sh!t is awesome, right?  My ego needs feeding, and so does yours.

Second, the longer I (abandons first-person plural gimmick) remain single, the more often I meet a really amazing, beautiful, drive-you-nuts alluring woman who likes me, but neither of us is in a position to pursue a relationship.

Maybe she's got one of those unfortunate "significant other" things I hear so much about.

Maybe she's still trying to get over that last unfortunate "significant other" thing I hear so much about.

Maybe I meet her in a 2.5 hour line for a cab a 2am 500 miles from NC with our grumpy friends being grumpy.

The point is, it's all good.  See, the longer I stay single, the more I have gotten an appreciation from what I really need from people.  I need connection.  I need to feel as if I am meeting people that challenge, inspire, and touch me in one way or another.  It turns out that if one is willing to roll with the limitations life puts on him, he can have fantastic, life-nurturing intimacy with more people that he could have ever dreamed.

(To any of those unfortunate "significant other" things lurking in this blog: I am talking about non-physical intimacy.  Sarah hit me with a great line the other night and said that "jealousy is a bourgeois emotion."  So all you dudes?  Quit being bougie, dawg.  Dag.)

My only worry is that this approach leads to half loving these women.

And Johnny Taylor never lied.