Sci-Fi Jesus

I came up with one of my greatest ideas ever as I was falling asleep last night, and I am giving it to the evangelical Christian community free of charge:

Sci-Fi Jesus.

The concept: The Bible establishes Jesus has some pretty sweet powers.  He can turn water into wine.  Feeding the multitudes and alladat.

But, see, those are the powers we mere mortals can perceive.

You know that Jesus was on some behind-the-scenes isht.  

We already know that Jesus forbade physical violence but waged metaphysical war on the ideas of violence, oppression, sin, and the like.  So what if someone made a movie that showed that metaphysical warfare in terms we could understand?  You're telling me you wouldn't watch Jesus in a superhero movie where he brings the ruckus to the literal manifestation of evil using powers across all 11 dimensions?  That Jesus punching out Evil and saving the day with a punch that he conceals by delivering it through a pocket dimension wouldn't make everyone you know go see that movie 15 times?

And for the sequel, imagine that the Hadron is actually an evil secular humanist plot to rip apart the universe.  But, of course, they can't get that sh!t past Jesus.  From his physical existence 2000 years ago Jesus perceives the threat, reaches across time and space, and undoes the work of the Hadron Collider at every instant.  Hadron Collider always rips apart the universe, but Jesus simultaneously rebuilds it.  And he lets the evil scientists KNOW that they are constantly succeeding but failing, because that's all part of some OTHER metawar that we'll tell you about in the third film.

You'd go see that movie.

To my faithful Christians out there: don't be mad.  One, I agree that we have to do this right.  That means any filmmaker needs to demonstrate strong Biblical knowledge, and Michael Bay is not allowed within a thousand miles of the set.  Two, I'm pretty sure Jesus is down with this plan.  We know that Jesus is beyond our understanding.  We know that, in order for us to better understand some part of His infinite wisdom, He often spoke in parables.

Well, these would be parables.

Parables about KICKING A$$.

And all of a sudden, Jesus would be the coolest kid on the block again.  Batman would have nothing on Sci-Fi Jesus.  Church attendance would swell, allowing you to talk to the people about...whatever it is one talks about in church.

Thank you Sci-Fi Jesus!!