Hog: a Metal Awakening

There's a long version and a short version of this post.

The long version: Done correctly, metal makes all other forms of music look trite and besides the point.  I can't think of another form of music that so effectively summons forces that are clearly beyond human control.  If that's a cliche, it's a cliche because it's 100 percent true.

Case in point: the homeboy Alec Ferrell is in a couple bands.  Last night, I went to see Hog, his metal outfit.  I try to avoid seeing my friends' bands for as long as possible, because nothing in the world is worse than a good friend and a good dude who is really proud of his really mediocre band.

Alec does not have that problem.

My god.

From the minute Hog got on stage, it was pretty clear that I listen to a lot of meaningless music, and that I need to cut that isht out, because I could spend that time listening to Hog.  As near as I can tell, their songwriting process is as follows:

1. Lead guitarist comes up with series of the coldest riffs you will ever here.
2. Lead guitarist tells the rest of Hog to memorize the riffs and play them as hard as you can.
3. The rest of Hog smiles, because, damnit, what's the point of playing if you can't rock as hard as possible?
4. They spend the next FOUR MONTHS perfecting each song into another version of the Ultimate Nature Machine.

Again, great metal is about tapping into some deeply primal stuff that we puny humans usually can't handle.  You may think that your sensitive singer songwriter, your jam band, your emcee, your dance music producer superstar, your 19th Century German composer, or whatever is tapping into something primal, but the best versions of all these archetypes are ultimately bound by human limitations.

Son, Hog is not human.  Hog is about that full-on Viking god isht.  Thunder.  Lightning.  Monsoons.  Asteroids smacking into the Earth, because the gods went all Ragnarok and sometimes a god's gotta break a planet or two to make an omelet.  Your wars?  Friend, your petty human wars are nothing to the gods, so they are nothing to Hog.  Come at Hog with a tank, and they will call down a f#$%ing glacier on your a$$.

The type of commitment needed to do what Hog does is staggering.  Again, FOUR MONTHS of practice before they play a song out, for a bunch of guys with day jobs.  To listen to Alec talk about effects and head units and arpeggios is to realize that you need to get more serious and passionate about your own creative endeavors, because there are dudes out here who do not trifle, not even for a second.

For the listener, all those sacrifices seem worth it.  Hog is powerful and Hog is sexy and your favorite band would never, ever agree to go on stage after Hog.

The short version: if you ever get the chance, go see Hog.  Don't worry if you don't like metal now, because you will like metal after you see them.