Like most everything else in my life for the last year, packing leaves me profoundly conflicted. I am excited about what is to come but terrified that I don't know what that is yet. I am both excited and terrified this move represents a step towards a new job and possibly career. I am excited and relieved because moving out represents another break from my soon-to-be previous employer but sad because living in this apartment has meant so much more than said employer, has opened up so many amazing doors, and has led to the creation of so many wonderful friendships.
I've reached the point where I'm pretty comfortable with who I am. Few things that can happen to me could still rock my sense of self, although I know that something down the line will do just that at some point. But as for now, starting down a move and job fears, all I can think of is that I've done all of this before, so I don't get too worked up about anything. However my situation resolves itself or doesn't, there will be good and bad aspects to it.
So I think being conflicted is probably an indicator that I can see more of the whole the picture. Not all of it by a long shot, but enough to know...something worth knowing, I guess.
All of these conflicted emotions, and all I'm doing, at least for now, is putting a lot of stuff in storage and moving up to Bull City. Given the 95 percent chance that I eventually move out of the Triangle, I can't wait for, and can't stand the thought of, the conflict I'll feel then.
One thing I am not conflicted about: LSU has a real shot of knocking off Kentucky. CHAOS ALWAYS CHAOS (c) Takao Yamada.
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