Character Assassination and the NBA Draft

Did Austin Rivers fuck Chad Ford's wife? That's the only conclusion I come to after following Ford's non-stop campaign to make sure Rivers gets drafted as low as possible.

A little background: Austin Rivers was one of the most highly recruited HS players for the class of 2011, went to Duke, and had a pretty good freshman season. Hit a shot to beat Carolina you probably saw. Scored 15.5 points and showed a nice little 3-point stroke despite seeing constant double teams and being really the only Dukie on this particular team that was anything special.

Yet from the minute the college season started, most draft experts started moving Austin Rivers down their board, for reasons that don't really pass the smell test. People complain that he hogs the ball too much for a point guard, but, uhm, no one with a brain thinks he's a point guard. Those who even acknowledge that fact seem to think he's neither athletic nor tall enough to play shooting guard in the NBA, but as my man Basa at fiyastarter points out, he's taller than Bradley Beal, who all the draft geeks love.

The reason that I'm riding for Austin Rivers comes from the most mystifying criticism of his game, which is that he's a miserable, awful person. I'm not kidding. That seems to be the biggest knock on his game. Just read this sht that Ford wrote on ESPN's blog. The language from the Simmons article has typified Ford's approach to Rivers and is just about as irrational and unprofessional as a major columnist can get. If you're going to say a dude is an arrogant ballhog who will never pass, you at least better provide some evidence. Don't give me last year at Duke, because, again, his teammates were sorry.

Also, since when is it a bad thing for a scorer to be confident, and even a little cocky? Don't some of you want to put Michael Jordan on Mount Rushmore because of his competitive urge, which is really just a polite way of saying the Michael Jordan is a misanthropic asshole? Rivers thinks that he can score on everyone because he HAS scored on everyone to this point in his career. That confidence is going to help him in the league, because it will keep him from getting down after a bad game.

It's true he's going to find the limitations to his approach pretty quickly, but why are we so sure that he won't adjust? What, a 19 year old coach's son isn't going to be able to adjust his game? All these prospects have flaws to their game. With everyone else, they get the benefit of the doubt. People like Ford say they have stuff they need to work on. But for some reason, Austin Rivers isn't going to get any better, because Austin Rivers is too much of an arrogant piece of sht to fix what needs fixing? Nah, man.

In lieu of specific evidence, I've concluded that Rivers rubbed some people the wrong way, which is unfairly clouding evaluations of him. There's no doubt in my mind that Rivers will stick in the league for a long time. At worst, he's instant scoring off the bench a la Jason Terry or Lou Williams, and those guys have demonstrated value in the league. There's a very good chance he develops into a 20 point per game scorer, and that's incredibly valuable, even if he doesn't get them in the most efficient way. And, again, I refuse to believe this bullshit narrative that he will never, ever adjust or grow his game.

Austin Rivers, welcome to the Shelly House. I shall provide you shelter from the unfair criticism that morons heap upon you. There's soda in the fridge.

The Lebron Narrative

Had the Heat lost, today, we'd hear questions about Lebron's fitness and, consequently, his commitment to off-season conditioning.  Psychologists would be brought forth to opine as to whether a lack of the clutch gene can manifest physical symptoms.  Most of all, we'd hear a lot of morons claiming Lebron faked it because he couldn't handle the pressure.

Yet because they won, we have to hear how Lebron nobly gave everything he has, the way a true champion should and the way he never, ever would have before he went through the pain of losing before.  "Yes," the very serious men writing about a game will say somberly, "this affirms everything we know about how champions are made, not born.

Both stories are ridiculous.  #6, people.  Say it with me.

The Politics of NBA Late Game Hero Ball

Note: Official TWEDP Bee Correspondent Sarah Dougherty is late to file her report on the Denver Basebee Controversy.  We apologize for the delay but are happy to bring you more of the usual nonsense.

This post is for the homie Bernard, who requested we discuss the ridiculous role of narrative in the way people think about and cover the NBA.  Basically, Kobe Bryant is clutch and Lebron James chokes, and YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS.  You must believe this because everyone knows it's true. You must believe this even though every statistical measure we have shows that Kobe shoots a laughably low percentage and turns the ball over way too much in crunch time and OMG FIVE RINGS DUDE WHY YOU HATIN?  You must believe this even though Lebron seems to nail a clutch shot or three in just about every playoff series his team wins and all the stats show that he is one of the best clutch performers in the league.

Thing is, Bernard, I don't really have a whole lot to say that hasn't been said recently.  For one thing, after Kobe singlehandedly lost Game 2 against the Thunder Wednesday night, even ESPN stated the obvious.

Also, I've decided I'm out on Lebron-as-meme.  Those who frequent the circus know that I've been one of Lebron's staunchest defenders, but as part of letting go of my attachment to OKP, I'm letting go of my defense of Lebron and trying to see him as the player he really is.  What he is: one the greatest players we've ever seen who falters ever so slightly in clutch moments.  It's not a lot.  If Greg Norman is a 10, Lebron is a 3.  It's slight enough that it only takes him from the best player in the league down to, oh, like a top 10 player in clutch situations.  Also, he's not doomed to choke forever.  As the greatest living sportswriter point out, his choking seems to be a recent development, so we can hope he grows out of it.  

But right now?  Yes, Lebron shrinks a little bit from the moment.  Whatever.  I don't care as much anymore.  The Heat are going to lose to the Pacers.  It's not Lebron's fault, because Bosh is hurt, Wade is old, and everyone else on his team sucks, but Lebron deserves it, because he made his Decision.  He's obviously not having fun, and the Heat are a miserable basketball team to watch right now.  I can't be bothered.

Bring on Thunder/Spurs, which should be epic.

The Chong Li Theory of College Basketball

Last night, Ohio State got punched in the mouth.  For the first five minutes of the second half, Cincinnati could not miss.  They took a lead in a game that Ohio State controlled for the entire first half.

In other words, Cincinnati is Ray Jackson.

You can win a title without being particularly tough, but you have to be the best the team to do so.  This is why the Shaq/Kobe Lakers could win three straight titles without being particularly resilient.  That's why Miami is still the favorite to win the NBA title this year.

(Lakers fans, calm down.  That lack of resiliency was on Shaq, not Kobe.  After he drove Shaq out of LA, Kobe proved himself to be quite resilient.)

Neither Ohio State nor North Carolina is the best team in college basketball this year.  Kentucky is.  Kentucky has the best draft prospect since Dwight Howard and NBA talent surrounding him.  To beat Kentucky, you either need to catch them on a bad night where you are also hitting shots (a la Indiana or Vandy), or you need to be very, very talented and resilient enough to survive when Kentucky hits you with a 10-2 run in two minutes, like they do to everyone.  Then, you have a chance.

North Carolina has the talent but not the heart.  Carolina fans, I'm not even trolling, so don't be mad.  You know Harrison Barnes doesn't have the eye of the tiger.  You know this team gets tight in close games.  Even with a completely healthy team, you were never beating Kentucky.

If you really want to stop Kentucky, get behind Ohio State.  They're big, physical, athletic, and smart.  Last night, they showed they could take a punch.  They are the only team left with a legitimate claim to being better than Kentucky.

BONUS CONTENT: Nick Young and the Clippers

The only problems with Nick Young is that he is completely one dimensional, he's not very good at his one dimension, and he has a complete disregard for ball safety.

Other than that, great trade, Clippers!

Rajon Rondo and the Cul-De-Sac of Doom

NBA fans know very well that some teams are trapped in the hopeless middle.  More than any other league, one needs a transcendent superstar to win an NBA title.  If your doesn't have one, the best way to get one is to  live in a city like New York, Miami, or Los Angeles that a superstar will consider when he becomes a free agent.  Otherwise, the best way to get a superstar is to be so awful that you can get a high draft pick and draft a superstar.

What that means for the contemporary NBA is as follows

1. Have a superstar, and have hope for right now: Miami (the favorites), Oklahoma City, Chicago, Orlando (if Dwight stays), the Clippers, the Lakers, Memphis (if Z-Bo comes back and is really the guy he was in last year's playoffs), and Dallas
2. Have young potential superstars on their roster, so might get there in a few years: Cleveland, Washington, and Sacramento (BIG CUZ COME UP!!)
3. Truly terrible teams with a good chance of getting the first pick in this year's draft, aka the Anthony Davis Sweepstakes: Charlotte and New Orleans
4. Completely Screwed: Everyone else

None of what I just wrote is news to NBA fans.  Today, however, I'd like to think of the plight of players on Class Four teams.  Specifically, let's talk about Rajon Rondo.

I am a known Rondo hater, because he can't shoot and he is always scowling, a habit he may have picked up from former teammate, close friend, and officially TWEDP enemy Kendrick Perkins.  However, in last night's discussion with This Substantial Nonsense, I realized how unfair the NBA media and public are to Rondo.  Rondo is not good enough to be the best player on a title team, but he is still one of the 15 best players in the league.  Besides his complete inability to make a jump shot, he does literally everything.  He is a one-man fast break who is fantastic in transition.  He defends as well as any point guard in the league.  He and Russell Westbrook are the two heirs to Jason Kidd's title of Best Rebounding Point Guard.  Most of all, he finds the open man and puts his teammates in the best possible position to score better than any point guard east of Steve Nash.

And what is Rondo's reward for his transcendent play?  He plays with one star at the very tail edge of his prime (Peezy), a star who has aged into an incredibly valuable role player (Ray Allen), and an over-the-hill bully who likes to scream at things, as long as he knows they won't scream back (man, I hate KG).  His GM is terrible, so the rest of his roster has one or two valuable pieces (peace to Brandon Bass) and a whole lot of crap.  Because everyone is old, the Celtics can't run, so Rondo can't play the way that would be most effective for him.  Worst of all, he deals with a pampered, ungrateful fan base that recognizes he's the team's best player, which entitles them to blame him because, OMG, Boston fans are so tortured, we haven't won a major sports title in NINE WHOLE MONTHS.

So, of course, now Rondo's name is in trade rumors, and because the Celtics have a horrible GM, a trade is possible.  Hell, because the Celtics aren't going anywhere, maybe the horrible GM is trying to bottom out and get a ticket in the Anthony Davis Raffle.  A trade would be the best thing that could happen to Rondo.  He'd go from a pampered fan base to a place that might actually appreciate the staggering diversity of his talents.  His new team might not be populated with fossils, so they could run more, which would make Rondo even more valuable.

In a new situation, maybe we could learn to appreciate Rondo for all the things he does and not the one conspicuous thing he does not do.  Maybe we could take a lesson from that and not blame Rondo, Andre Igoudala, Josh Smith, and every other guy with a noticeable flaw in their otherwise spectacular game just because they're not one of the five best players in the league.

Why You're Wrong about the NBA All-Star Game

There are three types of people who talk about how awful the NBA All-Star Game is.

One, there are the outright racists, although secretly, they must adore a good deal of the All-Star Weekend proceedings.  If you think I just took a veiled shot at Chris Brown and Nikki Minaj, you are incorrect, because it is veiled no longer.

Two, there are hardcore NBA fans.  For some reason, a large number of the people who love the league the most feel the need to sh!t on an exhibition.  The biggest problem with this class of hater is that it provides the intellectual arguments that the third, far larger class of haters employ for evil purposes

By far the most damaging class of All-Star haters are the guys who don't watch sports but feel the need to express forceful opinions on them, or as they are more commonly known, Colin Cowherd.

Three classes of haters, all with different agendas but united in their complete and utter wrongness.

Because the NBA All-Star game is fantastic.  You know what was awesome?  Almost everything that happened at this year's all-star weekend.

We had a rookie/sophomore game that featured Blake Griffin, Jeremy Lin, a pissed-off John Wall, Kyrie Irving, and the ever-present threat of  Big Cuz undoing all of the progress he's made and doing something monumentally stupid.

We had an All-Star game where Kevin Durant tried to make a claim to being the best player in the league, Lebron James beating him down with a fourth-quarter for the ages, and Kobe proving he's still the league alpha dog by talking smack to the game's best player while Lebron imploded.

And the best part?  We had one of the worst slam-dunk contests ever.  Complaining about bad TV is the surest sign that life has passed you by.  In the social media age, there is NOTHING better than bad live TV. Nothing produces more comedy, if you're subscribed to the right Twitter feeds.  Plus, even a bad slam-dunk contest featured a scrub that will never get minutes in a real game executing a double alley oop.  That should give even the most casual of Colin Cowherds an appreciation of the sheer amount of athleticism in the league.